Parental Logic

Because I've got eyes in the back of my head . . .

I brought you into this world, and I can take you out . . .

Keep it up and Santa may put you on the naughty list . . .

Because I said so . . .

Ah, the logic of parents.

My girls are small enough to still believe almost everything I say. Especially if I say it with any sort of authority.

From personal experience, I know this will not continue into the teenage years.

Case & point (I was about sixteen):

"Dad, are there onions in this?"

I can't stand onions. I can taste them in everything.

Hubby and I went to the Waffle House once and my order of hashbrowns had been cooked on a griddle that at one point in time had onions on it. I nearly choked on the first bite - they had a distinct onion taste. I wasn't even hungry after that.

Dramatic? Yes.

Changable? No.

Back to dinner with my dad.

With a look of complete disbelief, he answered, "How could you tell? I minced them up! You can't even taste them."

Being a smart*ssy teenager, I responded, "If you can't taste them, then why are they in there?"

"For flavor." Too late - Dad was soooooo busted.

I just grinned from ear to ear and pushed my bowl away.

Silver Lining:

1. I had gotten too big for him to knock me into next week.


2. I had gotten old enough to take notes for my own parenting manual. Too bad I was a perfect angel. That manual is not helping me deal with the temper tantrums and mischievous actions of my own girls.

Memory Making Moments

The holidays are a great opportunity to make memories with your family, aren't they?

Yes, they are. And, wowie, my family has me to record them all. They're so lucky!

My Mother-In-Law thought it would be nice to have ALL of us sit in the dining room. That makes 11 people sitting around an eight foot table in a 12 X 12 room. The usual dining chairs would have taken up too much room around the table so there were folding chairs interspersed. Since the dining chairs sat a little taller, we put the kids in the dining chairs so they would get a little boost.

Of course, as soon as Hubby sat down, he noted how high the table felt. Out loud.

Then, the kids trickled in.

"Hey, why do we have to sit in the big chairs?" You would think this would be a treat not a trick. Oops, wrong holiday. Naturally kids are going to complain about any perceived inequality. Never mind the fact they got the more comfortable chairs.

Uncle Jay entered the room and sat in one of the folding chairs.

"Dude, these chairs are low!"

My niece Amy pointed out that Nana's "Days 'til Christmas" sign said there were only 10 days until Christmas. Being the bright fourth grader she is, she knew Christmas couldn't possibly be that close. It's only Thanksgiving! Duh!

Popo was pouring wine. I had my amaretto & 7-up from earlier so I was good. Hubby & his brothers don't drink wine so they poured their sodas in their wine glasses. Classy, I know.

There was a lot of chaotic conversation. Popo was trying to say grace. There was probably some burping & farting.

"Shut up! It's time to pray!"

"Thank you oh, Lord, for these, thy bountiful gifts which we are about to receive. In Jesus Name, Amen."

"Amen."

More chaotic conversation.

"Did you know the 'Days until Christmas' sign is wrong?"

"Why are these chairs so low?"

"Throw me a roll. Really, your mom's not looking. Go ahead throw it here."

"More wine anyone?"

Hubby started coughing. He has these fits sometimes. I've come to learn that as long as he's still breathing, to just wait it out and then ask if he's ok.

Being a nurse, my mother in law is also well aware of this protocol.

Everyone stopped talking for a moment.

Hubby did stop coughing and there was a collective sigh of relief.

"Whew, at least no one has to do the Heimlich."

"The hiney lick? That's gross."

"I'm not licking any one's hiney."

"There's no green been casserole?"

"You know if it really came down to it . . ."

"Oh, alright. If it really came down to it, I would like a hiney if necessary."

"Thank goodness, that's not how you really stop someone from choking."

"No, but someone might start choking if they got a hiney lick."

"We're having vegetable casserole this year."

"Or, you might be the one choking if you were the one giving the hiney lick."

"Beans are good for your heart."

"Why am I sitting so low?"

"I know a song about beans."

"There's more than ten days until Christmas you know."

"I'll take some more of that wine now."


Silver Lining:

1. Dinner was delicious. My in-laws out-did themselves yet again this year.


2. Time with family is precious. As chaotic as it was, I wouldn't trade my family for anything.